Demi Lovato Recalls Effects Of Drug Use, Plus 10 More Shocking Revelations

Demi Lovato sat down to talk with Refinery 29 and, as usual, was very open about her past struggles with mental illness, drug use, self-abuse and eating disorders.

After surviving child star conundrum, the singer has come such a long way that she has learned to recognize and be at peace with her troubled past in order to love herself, her body and her longtime boyfriend Wilmer Valderrama.

The “Confident” songstress hit rock bottom when, at 18, she had a meltdown while on tour with the Jonas Brothers; to the point where she punched a backup dancer and was forced to leave and go into rehab.

In addition to that, here are 10 more revelations the "Confident" singer made in the interview.

1. On being open to the world and her fans: “I’d rather live my life free and open than closed off, where people like me for something that I’m not,” she explained.
2. On shutting people out: When her parents or team would try to pull her reins, she would shake them rudely loose. “‘Try to ground me — I pay your bills,’” she remembered yelling at them.
3. What it was like to work with her: “Prior to getting sober, I was one of those people who was like, I don’t give a fuck, whatever. And I used that as an excuse to do whatever I wanted. I was a nightmare to work with.”
4. On how triggers can affect: Lovato has been told to stay away from triggers like clubs, parties and even movies. “I had to learn the hard way that I can’t do parties anymore,” she said. “Some people can go out and not be triggered, but that’s not the case for me.” And as for movies, “If I feel even 1% unsure that I’m in a place where I can watch it, then I just don’t do it.”
5. About a possible engagement to Valderrama: “It’s nobody’s business but ours, and when it happens, it happens.”
6. How her life has changed: “I know [my life] sounds so boring,” she said. “But I’ve come to a place where I’d rather be relaxed than get all dressed up and go to some party or club with people who don’t really care about my well-being at all.”
7. On putting her voice to good use: Since her recovery, Lovato has immersed herself in a fuller life of standing for something and acting on it. She has been at Capitol Hill as an advocate for the mentally ill, has openly supported Hillary Clinton and attended the Iowa caucuses, has rallied for the Latino vote, and has become a voice for the LGBT community.
8. About Taylor Swift: Last February, Lovato tweeted a hint at the “Bad Blood” singer for only donating money to help out Kesha, instead of actually “putting in the work” to make a difference. “There’s nothing positive that comes from pitting women against each other… My thing is, don’t brand yourself a feminist if you don’t do the work. I have an immense amount of respect for women like Lena Dunham...or Beyoncé, who make amazing political statements through their work.”
9. On paying tribute to Lionel Richie: Lovato said she saw happy faces in the audience (including Richie’s and Bruno Mars’s) “I was like, ‘Oh, shit, this is really going well.’ When I got off stage, I just started crying. It’s taken me so long to get to the Grammys, and to finally get to perform there was amazing.”
10. On feeling “underestimated”: The singer confessed that some people will always only see her as a former child star, but that that is ok. “I still have more things to prove — not just about the things I can do with my voice. Some people think that because I’m young, I can’t stay sober. But these are things I want to prove to myself.”