Sharing her most vulnerable side with the world, Selena Gomez opened her heart and in an exclusive interview for Harper's Bazaar magazine, she commented on the challenges of living with depression. Gomez, just out of another stay in a rehabilitation center, said in the publication that her fight against depression and anxiety will be for life and still she will be fighting to live healthily.
"Anyone who knows me knows I will always start with my health and my well-being," said the singer. "I’ve had a lot of issues with depression and anxiety, and I’ve been very vocal about it, but it’s not something I feel I’ll ever overcome. There won’t be a day when I’m like, 'Here I am in a pretty dress—I won!' I think it’s a battle I’m gonna have to face for the rest of my life, and I’m okay with that because I know that I’m choosing myself over anything else. I’m starting my year off with that thought. I want to make sure I’m healthy. If that’s good, everything else will fall into place.
I don’t really set goals ’cause I don’t want to be disappointed if I don’t reach them, but I do want to work on my music too. My next album has been forever in the making. When people ask me why I’m honest about it: It’s because I haven’t been ready. I mean, point-blank, I don’t feel confident enough in where my music is yet. If that takes 10 years, then it takes 10 years. I don’t care. Right now I just want to be super intentional with all of the things I’m doing."
Gomez also spoke about her Hispanic heritage and how important are her Mexican roots. "I look at myself in the mirror every day and think, 'Man, I wish I knew more Spanish.' I’ll never forget when I was doing my TV show [Wizards of Waverly Place]; I think I was 15 or 16. We would do these live tapings every Friday, and one Friday there was this single mother with her four kids," said Selena. "She was Latin, and she came up to me after, crying. Her kids were so excited, but I noticed the mom, so I gave her a hug and asked, 'Hey, are you okay?' And she was like, 'It’s really incredible for my daughters to see that a Latina woman can be in this position and achieve her dreams, someone who isn’t the typical, you know, blonde with blue eyes.' And I knew what she meant."
The singer of "Wolves" also revealed that when she was younger her idol was Nickelodeon star Hilary Duff. "I remember wanting blue eyes too. So I think I recognized then that it meant something to people. That it matters. Even recently I’ve experienced things with my dad that were racially charged. Most of the time, though, I try to separate my career from my culture because I don’t want people to judge me based on my looks when they have no idea who I am," she said. "And now more than ever, I’m proud of it. But I still need to learn Spanish."
Selena said that today her biggest role model is fellow actress Meryl Streep. According to Gomez, Streep has always been one of her idols especially because she is an elegant woman and for her "ability to always be true to herself but play these incredibly complex, difficult characters."
"I love how she carries herself," said Gomez to the magazine. "I feel the same way about Grace VanderWaal, who’s, like, 14 years old. I was at the Billboard Women in Music Awards last year with all these incredible women, but she was just radiant. She had this knowledge and wisdom about her that I wanted for myself. Oh, and I really love Amal Clooney. I know that sounds weird, but I’ve read a lot about her. She’s just incredible, the way she speaks and what she fights for. I guess I’m a bit all over the place."
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