Little Mix's Jesy Nelson Attempted Suicide Over Cyberbullying

Who could have thought that Jesy Nelson of the Little Mix was once thinking of taking her own life because of the hateful online trolls she had to deal with? However, the performer herself said so.

In a new BBC Three documentary called “Jesy Nelson: Odd One Out,” Nelson said that cyberbullying almost led her to commit suicide. This was still back when she was competing in the “The X-Factor” in 2011. She auditioned as a solo artist but was put into a group girl called Little Mix. Her band members include Jade Thirlwall, Leigh-Anne Pinnock and Perrie Edwards.

According to her, during the episode when they sang a cover of Nicki Minaj’s famous hit “Super Bass,’ they went backstage to check how their performance played out on YouTube and read the comments being made of their efforts. She said she was caught aback by the vitriol that poured into the video by commenters. "I was very naive," she told The Guardian in an interview. "I thought it would be people giving their opinion on our performance. But nearly every comment was about the way I looked: 'She's a fat ugly rat'; ‘How has she got in this girl group?'; ‘How is the fat one in this?'"

Instead of making her afraid of reading comments though, Nelson said she became really obsessive about them. "I had a routine of waking up, going on Twitter, searching for the worst things I could about myself. I'd type in the search bar: 'Jesy fat', or ‘Jesy ugly', and see what would come up," she shared to the newspaper. "Sometimes I didn't even need to do that, I'd just write 'Jesy' and then I'd see all the horrible things. Everyone told me to ignore it–but it was like an addiction."

Even though Little Mix bagged the competition, Nelson shared that this put her into one of the darkest moments of her life. The performer told the newspaper that right after the win, she was already attacked online. "You are the ugliest thing I've seen in my life, you do not deserve to be in this girl band. You deserve to die,” a Facebook message to her read.

This messge was only a sampler to the many more she would receive after Little Mix became increasingly popular. She became depressed and even started to starve herself. Eventually, she tried to kill herself.

"The only way I can describe the pain is like constantly being heartbroken," she said in the documentary, according to BBC. "I remember going to the kitchen and I just took as many tablets as I could. Then my ex, who was with me at the time, he woke up and was like, 'Why are you crying?' I kept saying, 'I just want to die.'"

She now wants to make her experience with cyberbullying as an eye-opener to on how to be mindful with using social media and commenting.