Jennifer Lopez InStyle Cover: J.Lo Reveals She Doesn’t Love Being Alone And Embraces Her Roots

Jennifer Lopez dons a colorful ensemble for the April 2014 issue of InStyle. In the number, the "American Idol" judge opened up about her love life and how she is afraid of being alone. "Look, I don’t love being alone. I don't," she told the publication. "I can’t beat myself up for that. What I have to do is figure out why I don’t like it. Why am I not OK being alone? And can I ever be OK facing that? In the past, love for me has always meant forever, and sure, you still nurse some of those fantasies, but I don’t try to force it anymore. I hung on to my fairy-tale ideals for a long time. But where I am now, what I’ve been through, there are no rules. There are just lots of ways it can turn out instead of just one. There are so many different kinds of happiness, not just the one you learned about when you were five years old."

The 44-year-old actress was not always comfortable in her own skin and revealed when she started feeling good about herself. "The turning point was a couple years ago, when the September issue of women’s magazines had cover girls that were all over 40 – Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, Sandra Bullock, Julia Roberts, me," she said. "It was hard not to be happy. That says something about our society. People who used to believe their life – or at least their life as a performer – was over at 28 or some ungodly age! God, when I think of myself back then, I had no idea who I was. I think I’m barely getting that under control now." J.Lo also added, "It’s funny when people say ‘Jenny from the block isn’t real’ or ‘You’ve already done that.’ I keep doing it because that’s who I am. I love where I grew up and it’s such a part of who I am."

Jennifer Lopez recently released her first single from her upcoming eight studio album. The "American Idol" judge has released a new track titled "I Luh Ya PaPi" featuring French Montana. "Hold up, I can get you thrown up, pull your trigger, go and get your gun up," J.Lo sings. "Got that hourglass for you baby, look at these legs, no brakes, go green, no red. If you wanna kill the body, gotta start with the head, put it on you, I'mma need about 4-5 beds. Cause I love my papi." Lopez also signed to to star and produce on a new cop drama for NBC. The show will be co-produced with "Idol" host Ryan Seacrest. "Shades of Blue" is a complex police series that centers on Harlee McCord (Lopez), a single mother and detective recruited to work undercover for the FBI’s anti-corruption task force.