Happy Mother's Day 2014: 10 Hilarious Things My Mexican Mamá Taught Me

Mexican Moms are the best. Or at least the most passionate. They love their kids fiercely in a very unique way. They teach us some very special lessons: they teach us to be better childredn, better Mexicans, better people. Now all Mom's love their children. But Mamas Mexicanas have a rather special vocabulary when it comes to expressing their affection for their children. So in honor of them, here are 15 Things We Learnt From Our Mamas Mexicanas.

1. Me enseñó a APRECIAR UN TRABAJO BIEN HECHO! (She taught me to appreciate A JOB WELL DONE): "¡Si se van a matar cabrones, háganlo afuera! ¡Acabo de terminar de limpiar!" ("If your'e going to mess around rascals do it outside! I've just finished cleaning up!"). 2. Me enseñó RELIGION (She taught me RELIGION): "¡Mejor reza para que esta pinche mancha salga de la alfombra!" ("You better pray that this damn stain comes out of the carpet!")

3. Me enseñó LOGICA (She taught me LOGIC): "¡Porque yo lo digo! ¡Por eso... y punto!' ("Because I said so! That's why and it's final!") 4. Me enseñó a PREDECIR EL FUTURO (She taught me to PREDICT THE FUTURE): 'Donde te saques un pinche 5 otra vez, verás lo que te pasa holgazán .' ("If you get another D you'll see exactly what will happen to you you little bastard!") 5. Me enseñó IRONIA (She taught me IRONY): 'Sigue llorando,y te voy a dar una razón para que llores de a deveras.' ("Keep crying and I'll sure give you a reason to cry!")

6. Me enseñó a SER AHORRATIVO (She taught me how to SAVE): '¡Guarda las lágrimas para cuando me muera!' ("Save your tears for when I'm dead!") 7. Me enseñó CONTORSIONISMO (She taught me CONTORTIONISM): '¡Mira la pinche mugre que tienes en la nuca! ¡Haber Voltéate!' ("Look at that filth you have on your neck! Turn around!") 8. Me enseñó EL CICLO DE LA VIDA (She taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE): ¡Te traje a este mundo, y te puedo sacar de él, animal!' ("I brought you into this world and I can just as quickly tak you out!")

9. Me enseñó VENTRILOQUIA (She taught me VENTRILOQUY ): '¡No me rezongues! ¡Cállate y contéstame! ¿Por qué lo hiciste?' ("Don't talk back to me! Shut up and answer! Why did you do it?") 10. Me enseñó RECTITUD (She taught me good posture): '¡Te voy a enderezar de un sólo chingadazo!' ("I'll straighten you out with one good hard slap!"). Thanks for everything - we love you Mamá!