Woman Accidentally Names Baby After Dad's Lover, Says Parents "Beg and Plead" With Her to Change It

Woman Accidentally Named Her Baby After Dad's Lover

A new mother was surprised to learn of her father's past affair when she revealed her baby's name to her family and her mother couldn't hide her horror.

Becoming a new mom is often a difficult process but for one Reddit user, it's messier than she imagined. Throughout her pregnancy, she kept her baby's name secret, saving the big reveal for the moment she signed the birth certificate. Unfortunately her father had a secret too.

According to her Reddit post, when she announced the baby's name was 'Annabelle,' her mother's face "went pale."

"My mom left a few minutes later claiming she didn't feel well. She said she'll come over in a few days to help with the baby," she said. "Now I'm at home with the baby and my mom hasn't talked to me that much. We used to talk everyday so I was confused by this sudden behavior."

Her sister, Emily, lives with their parents, and came over to offer her insight.

"She overheard dad and mom arguing because about ten years ago dad had an affair with a coworker named Annabelle," she writes. "Mom hasn't been talking to him and he's been trying to get her to talk."

Soon, the new grandpa came over himself, admitted to the affair, and asked his daughter to change the baby's name. The new mom explained that the baby was named after her husband's grandmother and she couldn't change it now.

"My dad begged and pleaded for me to change it, saying mom was in the middle of packing her bags and heading to her sister's house," she continues. "I told him I won't change her name and that it means so much to me and my husband. He began to raise his voice and immediately my sister yelled back and told him to get the hell out."

"I'm not changing my baby's name," she reiterates, "but I feel like this is tearing the family apart. What should I do?"

The dilemma is posted in a subreddit of the "Am I the Asshole?" forum, and has received over 5,000 comments in the day it's been up. Most commenters don't believe the poster is in the wrong.

"Your dad is the AH," one says. "But the question you have to ask yourself is whether you want your mom to feel pained every time she hears her granddaughter's name...It's just a bad situation all around."

Amid the support for the new mom's difficult position are concerns about how it will affect the relationship between baby and grandma.

"I understand. You're NTA. But it will have consequences." a reader warns, "Your mom might not be willing to bond - and there's no blame! Your dad hurt her badly. Look, the only asshole here is your dad. But some wounds take time to heal."

A lot of people are less understanding of the grandma, suggesting she needs to "get over it."

"Marital infidelity is a trauma, and victims suffer from PTSD," a redditor says in defense of the betrayed grandmother. "Telling Mom to 'get over it,' is a BIG request."

The most upvoted comment has detailed advice, and echoes many comments urging the poster to have an open conversation with her mom.

"Call your mom. Tell her you're so sorry and had zero idea about any of this. Tell your mom everything you know about grandma Annabelle. She liked to knit. She had an infectious laugh. Her eyes were blue. She did ballet. She needs mental separation from her husband's fling," the advice begins.

"As far as the affair? Dad needs to figure that out. That is between THEM and if your baby uncovered feelings then thats their problem not yours." The comment wraps up matter-of-factly, "They need therapy or a split."

So far there has been one update to the post where the author clarifies that 'Annabelle' is not the real name, just a stand-in. The baby's actual name is shorter, and doesn't lend itself to nicknames that could ease the sting for grandma.