Mother Says Husband Divorced Her Because He 'Can't Bond' with Child After Missing Birth, Wants to 'Start Over' with Someone Else

Father who missed birth wants to "start over"

Seven months after a woman first sought help for her marriage in a Reddit parenting forum, her divorce is being finalized because her ex wants to "start over" with a family he can bond with.

According to the woman's original post, she gave birth to the couple's first baby in Sept. 2023. Her husband of 5 years was present for the majority of her labor, until an emergency c-section was deemed medically necessary and doctors asked him to step outside.

Within months of the birth, she claims the father asked for a divorce so he could "start over on his dreams of having a family." He allegedly insisted that not being present for the birth meant he couldn't bond with his daughter, and could therefore never have the "small, close knit family" he wanted with his wife and daughter.

Shortly after their daughter's first birthday, the woman shared with Reddit that the couple were nearing the end of the divorce process, and her ex had not wavered in his conviction that missing the birth meant he would never bond with his child.

"He did look the judge in the face and repeat the whole 'didn't see birth, can't bond' thing," she wrote in the post. "His lawyer did try and defend that claim. He presented studies that he claimed said things about damages to bonds when fathers weren't present and actively involved for everything."

She was confused by the relevancy of the presented studies, because her husband had been present throughout the pregnancy, the majority of the labor, and as soon as possible following the c-section.

"He was there and active and involved my entire pregnancy, and was present for my entire labor until things went wrong," she explained. "It wasn't a case of 'ooooh hey you knocked someone up 5 years ago, now bond with this kid.' Daughter was definitely less than an hour old when he held her for the first time, probably less than half an hour."

From the post, it appears the judge shared the woman's confusion regarding the husband's thought process.

"Needless to say, the judge was not impressed with my ex's lawyer's arguments. He tried to push my ex for therapy, made comments about how ex would regret this later," she said.

The post says the husband was ordered to pay child support, and that he was granted visitation.

"He has visitation per the paperwork. Care to guess if he's used it?" she asks, then clarifies: "He's shown no interest in (his) daughter."

The now-single parent reports she is in therapy and doing "okay." When the divorce is finalized she intends to "start over" herself.