In an exclusive video for YouTube, Demi Lovato, in about an hour and 20 minutes, made shocking revelations about her life. "Demi Lovato: Simply Complicated," shows the most vulnerable side of the singer and everything she has struggled to survive in her world of excesses.
Lovato answers many questions that until now had no answer, but most importantly, the singer of "Tell Me You Love Me" makes unexpected confessions. The documentary was directed by Hannah Lux Davis and features the participation of Nick Jonas, Joe Jonas, Lovato's managing staff members, as well as her mother, sisters and close friends.
Below are the 17 most revealing points of the entire documentary:
- A Feeling of Worry: "I actually had anxiety around this interview because the last time I did an interview this long, I was on cocaine."
- Extreme Bullying: A girl in school made a petition for Lovato to kill herself.
- Toxic Friendship: Demi became friends with a girl who introduced her to alcohol and drugs like Adderall and cocaine.
- The First Time Demi Used Cocaine: Lovato was 17 years old and working on Disney Channel. "I was scared because my mom always told me that your heart could just burst if you do it," she says. "But I did it anyways, and I loved it the first time that I did it."
- Demi Was Out of Control: While touring with the Jonas Brothers, and working on Camp Rock and Camp Rock 2, Lovato combined her drinking habits with Adderall.
- Snitching and Confrontation: Lovato's backup dancer told her stepfather and manager she was using Adderall. The next day, Demi punched the dancer in the face. The altercation resulted in the singer entering a treatment center for the first time at 18 years old. Lovato was officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
- Secret Relapse: "I wasn't working my program. I wasn't ready to get sober. I was sneaking it on planes, sneaking it in bathrooms, sneaking it throughout the night. Nobody knew."
- At Death's Door: One night Demi mixed cocaine and Xanax. "I started to choke a little bit," she says. "My heart started racing, and I remember thinking, 'Oh my God, I might be overdosing right now.'" In a separate time, she actually did almost overdose after locking her bedroom door in Palm Springs. She was taken to the hospital.
- A Road to Suicide: Lovato's manager Phil McIntyre, contacted personal development coach Mike Bayer, to help with Demi's addiction. "Demi was on a road to suicide. She'd have bags of pills and an 8 ball of coke," revealed Bayer. Demi admitted she was either craving drugs or on drugs. "I was not easy to work with. I was using while I had a sober companion, and I went through about 20 different sober companions. I didn't feel anything. I didn't feel guilty. I didn't feel embarrassed. I would sneak out, get drugs. I would fake my drug tests with other people's pee, and I'd lie straight to their faces. It's embarrassing to look back at the person that I was," said the 25-year-old singer.
- Manager Breaking Point: Lovato's management team informed her that there was nothing more they could do for her. "I was fully intending to drop her," McIntyre says.
- Demi Won't Let Them Go: "I remember her crying," Bayer said. "Going, 'What the fuck do I need to do? What do I need to do?'" Management team told Lovato to give them her cell phone, and she smashed it and dunked it into water. "This was the gateway to everything," McIntyre says while holding and showing the shattered phone. "This was the wrong people, it was drug dealers, it was a lot of the negative influences in her life were coming through the cellphone."
- Lovato has been sober ever since: "You really have to lean into the people that are trying to support you," Lovato says. "Like my family, like Mike and Phil. You really have to surrender because that's when the change is gonna happen."
- Demi's Biggest Love: "I still love Wilmer," she says. Demi Lovato and Venezuelan actor, Wilmer Valderrama, met on January 11, 2010, at his home for a PSA shoot. She was 17 years old and Valderrama 29. "To be honest, I only did it because I heard it was at his house," she says, "and I thought he was really cute. I didn't really care about the census forms. But when I met him and laid eyes on him for the first time, I was in hair and makeup and he came and sat down, and I was like, 'I love this man, and I have to have him.'" Once Lovato turned 18, they began dating. "I think it was love at first sight, and I don't really believe in that, but I believe that it happened. We connected on a level that I've never connected with anybody before. He was just my rock, my everything."
- The Singer is Currently Using a Dating App Called "Raya": "I am on the dating app with both guys and girls. I am open to human connection, so whether that's through a male or a female, it doesn't matter to me."
- She is Sober but Still Struggles with an Eating Disorder: "I haven't relapsed in drugs and alcohol," she says. "That's something that I'm very proud of. I'm coming up on five and half years of sobriety, and that's something that's been difficult at times, but one thing that I haven't fully conquered is my eating disorder."
- Bingeing and Purging: "When I was in a relationship with Wilmer, I went three years without purging," she continues. "When we broke up, that's one of the first things I did. When I feel lonely, my heart feels hungry, and then I end up bingeing, and I don't know how to figure out how to be alone."
- Stress Relief and Meditation Platform: "The gym really helps," she says. "I know that I would be a very dark place without it. Any time I'm able to take my mind off of any of my addictions, it's very beneficial to me because you're constantly thinking about what the next move is. The technique, the strategy... Working out is a form of meditation to me because I'm not focused on anything in my head. It can transport you to a totally different place. I'm on a journey to discover what it's like to be free of all demons."
You can watch the full documentary below:
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