New Year's Eve is a time for celebration, a time to party, a time for resolutions, champagne and of course laughs. While many get overly sentimental about the passing of another year, and way too serious about beting a better person in the forthcoming year, others are just looking for a good laugh.
Laughter is allegedly the best medicine, and it's most certainly good for the soul, so what better way to ring in 2018 than by enjoying a hilarious joke. Forget about midnight kisses this New Year's Eve and check out our 12 New Year's quotes that will have you laughting into 2018 and forgetting all about the mistakes of the previous year!
“My New Year’s resolution? I will be less laz.”— Jim Gaffigan
“Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.”— Anonymous
“Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.”— Eric Zorn
"This year my New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'Seacrest out!' after I ejaculate."— Zach Galifianakis
“It goes Christmas, New Year’s Eve, and Valentine’s Day. Is that fair to anyone who’s alone? If you didn’t get around to killing yourself on Christmas or New Year’s, boom, there’s Valentine’s Day for you. There should be a holiday after Valentine’s Day called ‘Are you still here?’”— Laura Kightlinger
“Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you’ve met your New Year’s resolution.”— Jay Leno
“The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.”— P. J. O’Rourke
“And now we welcome the New Year, full of things that have never been.”— Rainer Maria Rilke
“May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall!”— Aleister Crowley, “Moonchild”
“I would say happy New Year but it’s not happy; it’s exactly the same as last year except colder.”— Robert Clark
“What you do for Jewish New Year is you go down to Times Square… It’s a lot quieter than the regular New Year. It’s just a few Jews walking around going, ‘sup?’”—John Stewart
"I wish I didn't watch [Dick Clark] because New Year's Eve is that one little time when you get to suspend the disbelief that next year is going to be crap. You forget about it! You look at the person next to you and kiss them and say "Happy New year!" and you have a moment of happiness. I don't wan to be reminded at that exact moment of my own mortality."—John Bowman
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